Listen here (hear?) mice: you may be cute, but you are also dirty and gross. (I know, so is Patton but he gets a pass on this because we have a mutually rewarding relationship, I can bathe him, and he has been vaccinated.)
You are lucky my dog is a very bad cat. He might tolerate you stealing his food, but do not mistake his complacency for mine. I mean business.
I know it's cold out on the streets, little mice. We're paying $
You terrorize me with your incessant little scratches and scurries that quit as soon as I move in your general direction. I've caught you in the dog food, predictable choice I must say. And your attempts to get in the lidded garbage can have been humorous at times. Today I found you in the toaster and I have to admit, I threw up in my mouth a little; well played.
Don't press your luck, little gypsy pirate mice, or we will switch from glue traps to spring loaded crushers faster than you can say "An American Tail".