Dear Fellow New Yorkers,
The weather outside has been, shall we say, sloshy lately. Being a very pedestrian city it is necessary we get ourselves around by foot despite the weather.
Umbrellas play a very important roll in keeping us from looking like we jumped in the Hudson with our clothes on while on the way to work. However, my dear neighbors, I am begging you to reconsider, nay, consider your fellow New Yorker on our mutual plight to work.
What I'm trying to say is what the &$%^ is with the giant golf umbrellas New York?!
Seriously, are you waiting for the cabana boy to bring you drinks under that thing? I think the entire Dugger family could sip Shirley Temples beneath the giant canopy you try to pass off as an umbrella.
I can only speak for myself, but I would like to say that my eyes are quite valuable to me. Clearly you do not see as much value in my eyes as I do. Otherwise you might make an attempt to not gouge them out with your massive tent on a stick.
I'm not asking you to get soaked on the way to work merely to salvage my sight. I am simply requesting you consider some other options for staying dry while you trek around the city.
There are some really great choices out there. Take these hand less options, for instance:
Or how about a rain slicker and some wellies? I hear yellow is "all the rage" this season!!
Whatever you choose to do, please save your golf umbrellas for the golf course and get a friendlier, less eye mutilating, personal space respecting umbrella. My eyes and my patience will thank you.
Your Considerate Transplant Tamara